"He was also assassinated" 😂
"Emperor Elagabalus showed a disregard for Roman traditions was first to employ a prototype of whoopee cushions at dinner parties. His behavior estranged & enraged the Praetorian Guard, the Senate, and the common people alike.
Don’t you just love human history?
"oh my god, you’re seriously going to pay college kids $15 an hour to flip burgers? get a real job!"
a real job? you mean, like, an internship at the white house?
okay, well what about the national democratic party?
what about interning at the united nations?
wow damn it’s almost like our economy functions on stealing labour from hardworking young people, regardless of whether their jobs are “real” or not
if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon
Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb.
Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon.
I love that story
- emma watson: gets casted as the female lead in one of history's biggest movie franchises
- emma watson: spends the next decade slaying as hermione granger
- emma watson: manages to flim 8 movies as a teenager AND get amazing grades
- emma watson: gets accepted to Brown, an IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITY
- emma watson: overcomes the struggle of leaving home to go to college overseas
- emma watson: completes her degree despite always having to deal with the fact that she's a huge celebrity among regular college students
- emma watson: delivers an empowering, wonderfully thoughtful, honest speech about gender equality
- emma watson: is intelligent, down-to-earth, kind and sweet
- emma watson: is also ridiculously hot
- emma watson: is perfect human
- crusty men living in their parents basements: shit
- crusty men living in their parents basements: i feel so threatened rn
- crusty men living in their parents basements: let's leak her nudes
have you ever just assumed that a word was pronounced a certain way and you end up pronouncing it incorrectly throughout your entire life and then one day someone corrects you and its like you can almost hear satan laughing as the flames of hell begin to seep up from underground and slowly burn you to death
Lets talk about Po for a minute.
This is Po from Kung Fu Panda.
He is literally an overweight
Who works at a fast food restaurant
With the worst luck
And yet becomes
Who still acts
Who still hates hiking
He uses his fat
To his advantage
And doesn’t let
His tragic past
This has been a Po appreciation post.
His tattoo translates to ‘faggot’. WHY
Because i am one.
“Let me give you some advice, bastard: Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
-George R.R Martin.